“Saturday Night Live” is making sure no one forgets about Jeff Bezos’ blackmail scandal — literally nothing else is more important.
The show returned with its own version of NBC’s “Meet the Press,” hosted by Kyle Mooney as Chuck Todd who was joined by some of the country’s most decorated journalists: Washington Post columnist Eugene Robinson (Kenan Thompson), Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan (Cecily Strong) and former chair of the Democratic National Convention, Donna Brazile (Leslie Jones).
You would suspect that these respected journalist would all have plenty to say about the National Enquirer blackmailing the Amazon CEO, but nope. They’re just concerned with what Bezos’s penis looks like.
“When I hear billionaire’s penis, I immediately think small potatoes,” said Noonan. “It’s like they say — if it’s small, it looks funny you better have the money honey.”
Robinson had some more pressing questions he needed answers to, you know like a true journalist would ask.
“As a journalist this is not something I ever thought I’d have to cover, but as a human being I’m naturally curios,” said Robinson. “Is he working with something the size of an Amazon Echo or is it more of a Dot?”
Nothing could get these respected journalists off the topic of the world’s richest man’s penis, no not even Donald Trump’s State of the Union address could steer them off course.
Not even when the acting U.S. Attorney General Matt Whitaker (Aidy Bryant) was about to drop a bombshell about his testimony regarding Trump directing him to interfere in the Meuller investigation.
“You know what, Chuck, I’m going to say something that I left out of my testimony, and this is going to blow everything out of the water here. “Mr. Trump actually called me and whispered to me…,” started off Whitaker before he was interrupted by Todd because surprise! Bezos’ dick picks were leaked.
What did Mr. Trump secretly whisper to Whitaker? We’ll never know. But we do know what the Amazon CEO’s penis looks like.